Tomorrow at 10:30am I will be having my third laser laparoscopyat St. Joseph’s Hospital in London. My surgeon is Dr. George Vilos – he is a professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology and the Director of Endoscopic Surgery at the University of Western Ontario – a guru of laser laparoscopies. As I mentioned in a previous post – the last 2 surgeries have been pretty unsuccessful because the endometriosis was very active and much more in quantity than either surgeon anticipated. I am just praying that the Lupron injections have done their job – if it has, the surgery should be successful. I am tired of leaving the hospital crying. Cross your fingers for me!! There is still a chance of having my uterus removed to control the problem. After this surgery, once my cycles resume I will need to go on the birth control pill for life – hence the decision to adopt.
I’ve had quite some time to come to terms with the fact that I may never conceive . I am so thankful that there are amazing women who have gone through the heartache of giving up their child. While trying to conceive (almost 5 years), the start of a new cycle each month and finding out that yet another friend is pregnant was hell (don’t worry girls – I was also very happy for you!), they were also another disappointment, another failure – that emotional pain was the worst I’ve ever experienced. But what those women must endure in giving up their child for another family to raise… I cannot imagine. I guess knowing that the child will have a life that they are unable to provide is just one way they heal. I pray for our future child’s mother and father every night – whoever they may be – wishing them peace in making the decision that will ultimately change not only their lives, but our lives forever.