Handle With Care

I (finally) just finished Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult.  What a great book.  As I seem to discover with pretty much every book I read or listen to recently - this book touched on adoption.  There is a character in the book who was adopted domestically and is searching for her birth mother.  I wanted to share a paragraph about what her character thinks adoption feels like.  I think it is kinda nice, and hope this feeling is true - but not being an adoptee, I of course really don’t know.

“Being adopted felt like reading a book that had the first chapter ripped out.  You might be enjoying the plot and the characters, but you’d probably also like to read that first line, too.  However, when you took the book back to the store to say that the first chapter was missing, they told you they couldn’t sell you a replacement copy that was intact.  What if you read that first chapter and realized you hated the book, and posted a nasty review on Amazon?  What if you hurt the author’s feelings?  Better just to stick with your partial copy and enjoy the rest of the story.”

That same character at the end says:

“Parents aren’t the people you come from.  They’re the people you want to be when you grow up.” 

The book was even more moving for me since I have a close friend who had to make a very difficult decision this summer to terminate a late term pregnancy.  Reading this book at times made me cry for her – and “understand” a bit more of the pain that she is going through.

Next Steps

This past month has been such a blur I haven’t had a chance to update everyone on what’s happening on the adoption front. 

On August 5th, we had been home with Alex for 6 months!  That night we had our final meeting with our adoption practitioner.  Everything went well and we even spoke with her about having her do our homestudy update for adoption #2.  After the meeting, our AP sent in the “ROACH” report to the Children’s Bridge who then sends it to the Ministry of Children and Youth Services.  The ROACH is the “Report of the Adjustment of the Child in the Home”.  Once the report is reviewed and approved by an adoption officer and everything is in order, the Ministry will send an approval report to our agency.  At that time a Director’s Statement of Adoption is also sent.

Once the Director’s Statement of Adoption is recieved, our agency’s lawyer will prepare an application to have the adoption finalized in our local court.  The court hearing usually happens between 9 and 12 months of placement (on Saturday we will be 7 months – can you believe it?!).  We have requested to attend court for the official finalization if it is possible.

After that all happens, we will be able to apply for a birth certificate, a social security number, and then finally a passport.

Then we can start everything all over again for Alex’s little brother or sister! Phew!

Very Upsetting

This week Imagine Adoption declared bankruptcy.  Imagine is an adoption agency in Cambridge Ontario that focuses mainly on adoptions in Africa.  There are hundreds of families who discovered this news by visiting the Imagine website.  I can not even fathom what these families are now feeling.  The anger, the sadness, the heartbreak, the uncertainty of where they now stand.  There are at least 70 children in a transition home in Ethiopia waiting for their adoptive families to come get them – but no one knows what the status of those children now are.  Can the families even go get them?  As many of you know, you pour your heart and soul into an adoption process – and to have your dream vanish in an instant must just be devastating.   And with the expense of adoption in these poor economic times, many families may not be able to start over.

At our PRIDE training, at least half of our class was adopting from Ethiopia through Imagine, and a very nice couple we met at PRIDE is included.  Brenda and Mike, Matt and I are thinking of you – last night you were the first thing I thought of when I heard the news – my heart goes out to you.  All of the families and babies affected by this horrible event are in my prayers and in my thoughts.  I really hope and pray that those who have received referrals are able to go bring their babies home.

Brickman’s Picnic

Yesterday we were so lucky to be able to attend the annual Brickman’s Picnic (we attended last year too).  The picnic is for families who have adopted children from South Korea through the Children’s Bridge.  Just imagine about 30 little Korean children running around having a blast!  It was great!  I go to meet many of the lovely ladies who have commented on the blog (Julie, Marilyn, Ruth), and meet their boys too.  We also go to catch up with Karen, Kevin and Lucus which was so nice.  We met many other wonderful people and talk about our adventures into parenthood.   A few of us even started to plan a play date in Waterloo Park.  It was so neat looking at the older boys, imagining what Alex might look like in a couple of years. 

Alex had a blast – he walked all over, mooching food from total strangers, played on the trampoline, played in the sand, and practically fell asleep as soon as he was in the car seat.

Thank you so much Marilyn and Bob!!  You are amazing hosts and we can’t wait for next year!

I wish I could post pictures, but since I didn’t ask for everyone’s permission, I will share one of Alex enjoying all the bubbles!

Bubbles!

Upsetting Story

This story was just posted on CBC – it is about Ethiopian Adoption and some of the problems and corruption that has been found to exist.

First Social Worker Visit

Yesterday we had our first social worker visit.  For those who are not up on the South Korean adoption process, after the baby is placed with a family, there must be at least 3 home visits over a 6 month period.  The social worker and the Children’s Bridge need to submit reports on the baby’s progress at 2, 4, and 6 month intervals.  At the end of the 6 months a R.O.A.C.H. report (Report on the Adjustment of the Child in the Home) is submitted to Korea and after that a court hearing will be held when Alex becomes an official member of our family.  At least that is how I think it goes. 

So yesterday was the first visit and it was not as stressful as I had anticipated.  Our SW focused on Alex and his progress – his communication, motor skills, attachment etc and he passed with flying colours!  Yeah Alex!  Next visit will be just after his first birthday in May.

Leaving on a jet plane…

The red string is really short now!

Tonight at 7:50pm we will begin our long journey to Seoul.  We don’t arrive until 5am on Thursday January 29 (Korean time - which is really 3pm on Wednesday our time.  Very confusing.  I think jet lag is really just mass confusion.  We have been taking melatonin to help with the jet lag – will let you know shortly if that works!

It has taken us 9 months, 3 weeks and 2 days to get to this point.  At times is seems that the process has taken forever… but at other times, it seems like it has gone by in the blink of an eye.  

We are so thankful for all of our friends, family members, new e-buddy friends, and the staff at the Children’s Bridge for helping us get through the happy times and the rough times.  It has meant the world to both of us – but especially me, to have met so many new friends through this blog – and knowing that you all are experiencing or have experienced similar pains, waits, and joys  has been a real comfort.  And the advise has been very helpful!

Be sure to check back often – we will try to post every night (with lots of pictures!). 

Now our real journey begins!!  Alex here we come!

When, Where, What

So here are the details as I have them now…

 

We will be leaving Toronto on January 27 at 19:50, arrive at JFK at 21:35.  We then leave JFK for Seoul at 00:50.  We arrive in Seoul at 05:00 on January 29 (their time) – so we lose a day (that’s ok – one less day to wait before we meet Alex!)

We will be staying at the Social Welfare Society Guest House in the larger family room.   We do not know yet when we will meet Alex for the first time, but hopefully on the 30th!  I don’t think I could wait all weekend!

We will leave Seoul  on February 5th at 20:55 and arrive in Toronto at 19:45 on February 5th (we gain back that lost day!).  This is a direct flight which will be nice!  The Children’s Bridge has arranged the travel, so I’m not sure what airline we are dealing with – I think it is Korean Air.

It would have been nice to travel earlier, however most of the flights to Korea are already sold out!  People must be going early for the Lunar New Year Celebrations! 

We also needed to arrange for Korean Won.  I went to the bank and ordered up some spending money for when we are in Seoul, and it won’t be available until next Wednesday.

And, we are still in the process of interviewing for my job!  It would be nice to have someone in place so I can do some orientation… but it is looking more and more like that won’t be happening.  My last day at work is going to be January 23.

So in 2 weeks – we will be in South Korea!!  and in 3 weeks, we will be home! We waited exactly 2 months for our travel call.

Thank you everyone for your encouragement and support over the last few months, and especially over the past few days -  it has meant the world to us.  And we can’t wait to share the next leg of our adventure!!

20

I just signed us up for an amazing Christmas gift… we are now on Children’s Bridge’s Call Back List for a second adoption from South Korea!  Last night Matt and I made the decision to just go for it – we want Alex to have a sibling, and it would be very nice if he or she were Korean as well.  The 2009 and 2010 lists are full – so looks like 2011! 

Crazy isn’t it – the first adoption isn’t even completed yet – and we are planning a second!  Luckily we won’t have to complete PRIDE again…

Next Steps…

Sorry I haven’t posted about what’s going on before now – Things have been very busy around here and we’ve barely been home. 

First of all, thank you so very much for all of the messages and e-mails – we are so very blessed to have such a wonderful friends and family!  We can’t wait for you all to meet our little man.

Some general details on him – his Korean name is Kaeul – it means “the fall”.  He was born in early May, and was a healthy weight – still is too!  We have not decided upon a Canadian name – we have the “short list” determined… problem is we both have large families with lots of boys – and most of our friends have boys – so lots of names are taken   I want to post pics… but I dont’ think we will until we get him – so if you want to see a picture, e-mail me at klarobinson215(at)gmail(dot)com.

The next steps:

1. We received Kaeul’s child study on Thursday morning, and have been reviewing his family history, medical history, and information on his sleeping, eating, and general habits (he is just perfect!!!)
2. This afternoon we are meeting with our doctor for our second twinwix shots – and will have him review the medical information on Kaeul at the same time.
3. This weekend I’m attending AdoptTalk – and adoption workshop for Children’s Bridge (in Mississauga).  Unfortunately Matt has another commitment and won’t be able to attend – although he is going to try to get there for Sunday’s talk.  Sunday they will be discussing travelling to get your baby.  I’m really looking forward to meeting Barbara and Karen – save me a spot girls!
4. Monday afternoon we meet with our Adoption Practitioner to fill out all of the forms and commitment to Kaeul.
5. Tuesday we go to the bank…
6. On Wednesday we hopefully will be ready to send everything back to Children’s Bridge.
7. They will then send for a Letter of No Objection from the Ministry (takes 2-3 weeks)
8. Once the LONO is received, our package goes back to the Canadian Embassy in Korea for Visa processing
9. So in 2.5-3 months, we will be travelling to bring ???? Matthew Kaeul Robinson home!!

We will keep you up to date on the progress!